Know Your DCU: Bizarro
Goodbye! Me am introduce myself: me am Bizarro #1. Me am not posting on DailyDCU.com today, and me must write my own Know Your DCU? Not fun, speech pattern am not consistent, so have no patience with me…
Me am the third fella to become Bizarro! The first two am failed clones of Superman made by me friend Lex Luthor. They am dead, so me am #1!!!
Funny guy Joker had powers of Mister Mxyzptlk for a few days, so him declared he am Emperor Joker and created him own Superman: Bizarro! Superman and him enemy Batman punch Joker in face. Ha! Bad joke. Me free and living in Graveyard of Solitude.
Me use powers sometimes: heat breath, ice vision, flying, and stronging.
Then me living comfortably being totured by General Zod in Pokolistan. Good times. Superman come pick me up from Pokolistan and punch the fake Zod. Now we am enemies!
After Infinite Crisis, during the 52, me was roomies with Lex Luthor, who am give me TV and a room for thirteen months. Now me am caught up with unfunny show Arrested Development! Google it, you will regret it.
Me am left Earth to create a home for meself. Me planet a cube shape like Earth, and look just like Metropolis, but worse! But me am was lonely. Me notice that under blue sun, me have Bizarro Vision which let am create peoples from planet. Me use this for populate the planet with more Bizarros! Like a Bizarro Lois. A Bizarro Jimmy. A Bizarro Batman. But no Bizarro Larry King. Me am bring Jonathan Kent (before Brainiac am killed him kinda) to visit Bizarro World, but Superman said “Yes”, and I say “No” and Superman leaves with him Pa. Happy ending me guess? Him Pa die anyway, so why no let he stay with Bizarro? Silly Superman.
That’s not all folks! Hello.